


Shared Loneliness

by kokirikid



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Luciel Choi's Route, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokirikid/pseuds/kokirikid
Summary: (This work contains spoilers for 707's route, day 10. Minor spoilers in summary.) Yoosung Kim feels betrayed after reading a string of messages from RFA's leader, V. Not wanting to be alone for the night, he asks if he can spend the night with fellow RFA member, Zen, who is also feeling hurt because of V. Yoosung bring a bottle of liquor to Zen's in order to get his mind off of the situation and the two share their feelings. (BL/Fluff)





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> (Spoilers for 707 Route Day 10. I will add a spoiler warning at the beginning of each chapter just in case. MC will refer to the player character, Main Character. Some of the chatroom/phone call dialogue used is from the Mystic Messenger game and is the property of Cheritz.)
> 
> (This is my first work regarding MysMe [and my first fanfic in a long time], so I hope you all enjoy! I will be adding chapters as I write them. As of now, I do not know how long I plan this story to be but there will be at least 3 chapters, if not more. :) )

(Spoilers for 707 Route Day 10. MC will refer to the player character, Main Character. Some of the chatroom/phone call dialogue used is from the Mystic Messenger game and is the property of Cheritz.)

 

The distinctive sound of keys being pressed on a mechanical keyboard echoed against the walls of the empty, dimly-lit apartment. The only light in the room came from the screen of Yoosung’s older model monitor that his late cousin, Rika, had given him as a high school graduation gift. Although Yoosung had upgraded most of the other pieces of his gaming set-up, he could not bring himself to get rid of the monitor Rika had given him. 

Yoosung focused on the screen of that old monitor as he tapped away at his keys almost mechanically, as if he had fought this battle a thousand times. The WASD keys on his keyboard had been used so often that the matte coating had been worn off, leaving them shiny and unlabeled, but Yoosung knew which keys they were without even needing to look down.

“Die!” Yoosung screamed as he mashed the “R” key to activate his character’s ultimate attack. The screen reflected bright in his tired eyes as the beam of light shot out from his character’s staff, obliterating the enemy character. 

“You win!” Flashed on the screen as Yoosung sat back in his chair and sighed, a confident smile plastered on his face. After a moment of basking in the glory of his win, Yoosung leaned forward again, preparing to queue up for another game of LOLOL. As his fingers brushed the surface of his spacebar, the rhythmic buzzing of his phone tore him away from his screen.

“Someone must have logged into the RFA chatroom.” Yoosung thought to himself, as he picked up his phone with his left hand, his right still instinctively clutching his computer’s mouse. 

(707 Route Day 10 spoilers start below and continue throughout all chapters.)

“V has entered the chatroom” scrolled across his screen before his phone blinked rapidly with the onslaught of messages being sent in the chat. Yoosung clicked the chatroom and entered to see that V had left as quickly as he had entered, leaving a slew of messages in his wake. Yoosung scrolled up to read through the messages and blinked in disbelief at what he saw.

“V… is leaving the RFA?” He thought, trying to rationalize the situation. Yoosung had some resentment towards V, especially after Rika’s death, but he never imagined V would have abandoned them like this. It made him worry even more, as he had not heard from Seven or MC since they had left to investigate the location of Mint Eye’s headquarters. Yoosung had attempted to call Seven earlier, but had he had not picked up. Just as Yoosung had begun to dial Seven’s phone number again, he noticed someone else had entered the chatroom.

“MC!” Yoosung typed, “You and Seven are safe, right?”

Three dots appeared on the screen as she typed. Yoosung was relieved to see that she was responding, but his heart sank as he saw what she sent.

“Yes, but first, did you read what V said?”

“I’m glad.” Yoosung replied, acknowledging their safety. He did not want to talk about V, not after everything that V had done, but he had to reply somehow, “Yes. I did. V… he left the worst words possible. I thought there’d be some long explanation but he didn’t explain a thing.” He felt hurt. V had kept them in the dark for so long, but he had always rationalized it as V was trying to protect them and their feelings. But, now that people’s lives were actually on the line, now that Seven and MC were in actual danger, he expected V to at least acknowledge the situation. He never expected V to just run away. He felt betrayed, but mostly embarrassed that he had entrusted V with their lives, with their thoughts, secrets, and happiness. V was once a trusted member of the RFA, but Yoosung felt that he didn’t even know the man on the other side of the screen anymore.

“I’m almost embarrassed that I once trusted him…” Yoosung added. His heart ached even more when he read MC’s following message that V had shown up at Mint Eye without Seven telling him the address. 

Just as Yoosung was about to explode in anger, Zen entered the chatroom.

“Wait. What the hell did MC just say? V was at the Mint Eye headquarters?” Zen typed in a bold font.

Yoosung could feel Zen’s frustration through the phone, the anger they both shared, but Zen’s words dripped with sadness and disbelief as well. Zen and V had been close, ever since Rika and V had visited him at one of his musicals. Because Zen was not close with his family, V and Rika had become family to him, and having V betray him like his real family had must have hurt Zen more than Yoosung could even imagine. His heart ached for Zen, he wished he could be there for him.

Before Yoosung could reply, Jaehee entered the chatroom and joined in on the disbelief. Jaehee’s reaction was very different. It was not one of anger like Yoosung’s and Zen’s, but disappointment.   
Yoosung and Zen expressed their anger in the chat, egging each other’s feelings on. Between their venting, Jumin had entered the chat but left before saying a word. Yoosung knew that Jumin and V had grown up together. If he and Zen were hurting from this betrayal, Jumin’s feelings must have been unimaginable. It could not have helped that the first thing he would have seen entering the chat was their anger. Jumin’s was likely ten times worse. Yoosung felt sorry for Jumin and for potentially hurting him more by discussing it so angrily. Yoosung wondered if Jumin would shove his emotions deep down inside himself, as he always did, or if he would let them out in the privacy of his own apartment. Yoosung could not know how Jumin truly reacted to this new, the only being who would see this side of Jumin was his beloved cat, Elizabeth the 3rd. 

Just as Yoosung considered calling and checking on Jumin, Jaehee said her goodbyes and left the chat to call him. Yoosung was thankful for Jaehee and that Jumin had such a caring, considerate assistant in his time of need. It made Yoosung realize how alone he was, a feeling that was intensified in that moment when he acknowledged he had nobody to confide in during this time of need. Seven had MC, Jumin had Elizabeth the 3rd and Jaehee, but who did he have? It made Yoosung feel anxious and alone in that dark apartment. A tear rolled down his cheek, reflecting the victory screen from the LOLOL match he had played earlier, that was still displayed on his computer monitor. He didn’t understand exactly why he was crying, whether it be from loneliness or betrayal, but he knew he was afraid. Afraid of what, he wasn’t sure, but his empty, dark room only amplified the feeling.

Yoosung wiped his face and looked back at the chat he had been neglecting. Zen and MC had exchanged a few messages while he was distracted. One in particular caught his eye. 

“I feel like my mind’s been torn apart.” Zen had typed. Yoosung felt for him. He realized Zen didn’t have anyone either. 

“Zen…” Yoosung typed without thinking, “This might sound a bit funny…” He hesitated.

“Is it weird to ask this?” Yoosung thought, “I just don’t want him to be alone…. And I don’t want to be alone right now.” Yoosung considered dropping the topic, but it was already too late, as Zen had already replied.

“What is it?” Zen had asked.

Yoosung swallowed hard, his heard pounding in his chest. Even though nobody was there to see him, just asking in the messenger made him feel nervous for some reason.

“Can I go to your place if it’s okay?” He quickly added, “I can’t be alone right now.”

Although it was only a few seconds, it felt like it took minutes for Zen to respond. To his disbelief, Zen agreed. Yoosung felt relieved, he didn’t know if he would have been able to fall asleep alone in that apartment, and he needed the rest since the RFA party was in the morning. He typed a quick goodbye to MC and asked her to relay a message to Seven before logging off.

Yoosung grabbed a bag from the top shelf of his closet, he needed to stand on his tip toes to reach it, and only barely was able to grab the strap and pull it down. He hastily stuffed a dress shirt and his slacks into it, not bothering to make sure they were folded properly. He had not really planned his attire for the RFA party yet, so he hurriedly threw some suspenders and a bow tie in the bag as an afterthought. He grabbed his keys from the table and was about to exit through the front door before realizing it may be a bit odd to show up at Zen’s on such short notice without some sort of gift. He thought for a moment and, realizing that this was a difficult time for both of them, opened the cabinet above his stove and pulled out a full bottle of alcohol he had purchased to celebrate a tournament win and subsequently forgot about. He made sure the bottle was sealed and crammed it into his bag, zipping it closed with one hand as he locked the front door with the other.


	2. Drowning Sorrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoosung and Zen drown their sorrows and share their feelings over a bottle of liquor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Spoilers for 707 Route Day 10. MC will refer to the player character, Main Character. Some of the chatroom/phone call dialogue used is from the Mystic Messenger game and is the property of Cheritz.)
> 
> (This chapter is much longer than the first but I feel that it needed to be! Hope you all enjoy! I hope to have the next chapter up later this week, once it's finished! :) )

Yoosung caught his breath as he reached the bottom of the stairs outside Zen’s apartment. “Why does he live almost underground?” He thought to himself as he reached up to knock. Before his knuckles could make contact with the door, it opened inwards, revealing Zen, who was standing in the doorway with a confused look on his face.

“You must not get a lot of exercise, I could hear you huffing and puffing from the kitchen.” He shook his head and stepped aside, “Come on in and grab a bottle of water from the fridge before you pass out.”

Yoosung stepped through the door as Zen closed and locked it behind him. Even though Seven assured the RFA that they no longer needed the security guards following them around, Yoosung was glad that Zen locked and bolted the door. Yoosung looked around Zen’s apartment for a moment. Although it was small and fairly empty, there was a table in the kitchen where he could place his things. Instead of opening the fridge, Yoosung plopped his bag on the table and unzipped it to reveal the bottle of alcohol he had packed in it as he left his apartment.

Still catching his breath, he picked up the bottle with both hands, as it felt fairly heavy after tiring himself out on the stairs, “I brought something else to drink instead!” Yoosung beamed as he held the bottle out to Zen.

Zen laughed, “Really? You want to drink?”

Yoosung felt a little embarrassed as Zen laughed and pouted, “Well… I felt a little anxious after reading what V said and thought it might help to get our minds off of it. I’ve been having a hard time with everything. Sorry if I shouldn’t have brought it…” He muttered, preparing to put the bottle away.

“No, no,” Zen said, laughing, “I’m just surprised. You don’t seem like you drink much so I wasn’t expecting you to bring it. I actually was going to grab a beer from the fridge myself.”

“Why don’t you have this instead?” Yoosung’s expression brightened and he smiled, still holding the bottle out to Zen, “Since you’re letting me stay, consider it a gift!”

“Are you sure? It looks expensive. You can keep it for yourself, I usually just drink beer anyway.”

“Please?” Yoosung begged, not wanting to drink it alone. “Besides,” Yoosung added, grinning, “This has less calories than beer. Don’t you have to keep up with your figure for all of those modeling jobs you’ve been offered?”

Zen scoffed dramatically, “Seven’s damn Tripter bot… but mostly my beauty is to blame.”

Yoosung rolled his eyes at Zen’s comment. “Yeah, yeah, God’s mistake and all that. Are you in or not?” 

“Fine,” Zen relented, “But you have to take the first shot since you’re the guest.”

Yoosung’s eyes widened, “A s-shot?” He stuttered, “Don’t you have anything to mix it with?”

Zen laughed, “Don’t be silly! Be a man and do a shot with me,” he said as he went towards the cupboard to grab a couple of glasses, “You won’t ever get a girlfriend if you have to mix your alcohol with fruity stuff.” Zen had to poke fun at Yoosung for mocking him first.

Yoosung whined a bit as he walked over to Zen with the bottle, dragging his feet. Zen snatched the bottle from him and poured two shots into the coffee cups he had taken out of the cabinet.

“Hey!” Yoosung protested, “Isn’t that more than a shot should be?” He eyed the cups suspiciously.

“How would you know? Besides, my house, my rules.” Zen said with a smug look on his face. He picked up both cups and held the one with less liquid in it out to Yoosung, “Ready?” He asked.  
Yoosung stomped his foot in protest as he took the cup from Zen. 

Zen counted down, “Three… two…”

“One!” Yoosung shouted as he gulped down his shot, making sure to do it as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to taste it, though he did anyway and gagged a bit as he wiped his mouth with his free hand. Yoosung hated the taste of alcohol and rarely drank it outside of RFA parties, even when it was mixed with something else. He slammed the cup down on the counter loudly and swayed a bit.

“Hey, watch it, will you!? You’re going to break my cup!” Zen said as he set his down carefully on the counter, “I only have a few of those, you know! I’m not made of money like Mr. Trust Fund Kid.”

Yoosung put his hand over his mouth and uttered a muffled, “Sorry” from between his fingers.

“Are you all right?” Zen asked, with a hint of concern mixed with amusement in his voice, “You look like you might throw up.”

“I’m fine…” Yoosung said between burps. “Gross…” He muttered quietly, tasting the alcohol in his mouth again. 

“Good, because there’s more where that came from!” Zen announced as he refilled the cups.

“Hey….” Yoosung said, feeling a little woozy, “Do ya think…. MC and Seven… I mean Saeyoung… will be okay?”

Zen set the bottle down, and answered oddly seriously, “I don’t know but I hope we hear from them soon. It makes me a bit nervous that they won’t be at the party tomorrow. We probably won’t hear from them again until after.”

“Why… doncha call ‘em?” Yoosung slurred, holding onto the counter for dear life.

“That’s a good idea. But first, come on,” Zen walked over to Yoosung and put his arm around him, leading him to the futon in the living room, “You sit right here, okay?” Zen went back to the kitchen, grabbed the cups and bottle of liquor, and brought them over to the coffee table. He picked up the remote, “Here, I’ll put the TV on for you. Sorry, the only thing I have on is one of my musicals.”

“Ah… come on… I don’t wanna watch that!” Yoosung slurred, swatting at the air, “I’m not Jaehee!”

“Well, too bad!” Zen said, switching on the DVD player. He set the remote down and took his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll call MC then since Seven, I mean Saeyoung, never picks up.”

Zen dialed the number and the phone began to ring. After a few seconds, MC answered. 

“Is everything okay? I’m with Yoosung!” Zen said cheerfully as he sat down next to Yoosung, who had picked up one of the cups Zen had filled and knocked it back quickly, “Tomorrow’s the party but he’s drinking like crazy.”

Yoosung slammed the cup down and started looking around, “Where’s thaaa remote? I don’t wanna watch thisss!” He yelled. He spotted the remote on the arm rest next to Zen and crawled over him to grab it.

“Yoosung, get away from me. I’m a guy. I don’t like you getting your hands all over me!” Zen shouted, pulling his phone away from his ear. He swatted at Yoosung with his empty hand, which Yoosung grabbed onto. He tried to shake him off, shouting, “What’s wrong with you? Let go!”

“Zeeen…” Yoosung slurred, still sprawled onto Zen’s lap, “Whooo are you talking to…?”

Zen rolled his eyes, “My princess! Why? What are you gonna do?”

Yoosung laughed and sang out, “Lyiiingg…. Saeyoung has the princesss……” 

Zen pulled the phone away from Yoosung, who started grabbing at it, “Are you pretending to be drunk right now!? That won’t work, dude!!!”

MC laughed over the phone and finally spoke, “You two seem to be doing well.”

Zen sighed, “We’re doing too well. What’s up with him? Seriously…” He said, shooting a glance at Yoosung. He thought for a second about what Yoosung had said, “Oh right, I was kidding about calling you my princess. Seven, I mean… Saeyoung can’t misunderstand.” Zen said nervously, wondering what Seven would do to him if he heard him. 

“Huh? Whaaaat?” Yoosung whined, still grabbing for the phone.

Zen swatted him away, accidentally knocking the remote to the ground with his elbow, “Shut up.” He sighed, “He’s driving me crazy. Sorry. I shouldn’t have called him over. He said he was having a hard time so I gave him a shot but I didn’t realize he was this lightweight… If I ever hand him another drink, I’m his son! His son!” Zen snapped.

Yoosung stared at Zen with a confused expression on his face, “I’m not married!!” He protested, “And I don’t even have anyone to maryyyy!” He added, climbing over Zen to reach for the remote that had fallen to the floor, “But what do you mean son!!!”

Zen sighed into the phone apologetically, “…Sorry, I shouldn’t have called you. Call me anytime you need. Definitely call me when things are better. Things are okay, right?”

MC giggled, “Of course, I have my man with me.”

Zen sighed again, sadly, “I could have made you happy too.”

“Make me happyyyy?” Yoosung asked, looking up at Zen.

Zen rolled his eyes, “Yeah you! You! You!” He reached over Yoosung and grabbed the other cup, which was still full, from the table, pushing it towards Yoosung, “Just drink this, God…”  
Yoosung took the cup and gulped it down, spilling a bit on Zen, who simply sighed again in response.

“I need to put him to bed,” He said into the phone, “Stay safe. I’ll be waiting for you to call.” He hung up without waiting for a reply and pushed Yoosung off of him. Zen had a pained expression on his face.

“Make who happyyy?” Yoosung repeated as he set the empty cup back onto the table, “MC?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zen said, picking up the other empty cup and filling it, “I guess I’m just lonely. Thought I finally had the chance to be happy but I was wrong.” He gulped down the drink before filling it back up, “You understand, right?” Zen emptied the cup a second time.

Yoosung nodded, swaying a bit. “I’ve… never…. even had… a girlfrieeeend.” He slurred, reaching for the cup.

Zen eyed Yoosung curiously, as he filled his cup again, “Are you trying to keep up with me?” He asked as he held the bottle to Yoosung. Yoosung grabbed at it before Zen pulled it back away from him, “That’s not a good idea.”

Zen filled his own cup and looked to Yoosung, “You shouldn’t drink too much,” Zen said as he put his own cup to his lips, “You know the party is tomorrow, right?”

“Yaaa, I knowww!” Yoosung said, grabbing for the bottle again. Zen gave it to him this time and Yoosung filled his cup again, managing not to spill it. He held his cup out towards Zen, “Cheeeeersss!”

Zen shook his head and clanked his cup against Yoosung’s and they both finished their drinks. 

“Ya know…” Yoosung started rather seriously, “I still can’t believe…. V did that.”

“I get what you mean…” Zen responded as he somberly poured himself another glass, emptying the rest of the contents of the bottle, “I know you two had your problems but he was still our friend. I never would have expected he would betray us… the RFA.” Zen paused to take a drink, “I can’t imagine how you must feel. Everything Rika did, he just threw it away.”

Yoosung stared at Zen for a moment, sniffling quietly to himself. Zen looked up from his cup and gave Yoosung a pained expression.

“Hey…” He set down the cup and put an arm around Yoosung’s shoulders. Zen felt as Yoosung began to tremble. He looked at Yoosung’s face and saw that tears had begun to spill from his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yoosung. I didn’t mean to bring up something that would make you upset.”

“No…” Yoosung started, wiping his face with his sleeve, “I’m glad… I have someone to talk to…” He spoke carefully, trying not to slur his words, “It’s hard… I feel so lonely… all the time…. I feel like… I have to go through it alone… Rika’s death…”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Zen smiled down at Yoosung and began to stroke his hair to calm him, as Yoosung had begun crying again.

“It’s… okay. I just… feel like nobody…. Really understood… how I felt…” Yoosung said between tears, “V… he got over it… like it was nothing… and I feel… like I’m the only one… still really hurting.” He started sobbing harder.

Zen continued to stroke Yoosung’s hair, “That’s not true. V may have gotten over it but the rest of us will never forget Rika. Whatever that stuff was in her apartment, I’m sure there’s some explanation.” He paused, “I think since you were the closes to Rika, next to V, it affects you the most. And you show it the most. Rika was important to all of us, but to you, she was family.”

Zen looked down at Yoosung, who was still crying, “Hey, let’s not talk about this anymore. I don’t want you to get upset before the party tomorrow or your eyes will be all puffy.” He thought for a moment, “Hold on, let me get up for a second.”

Yoosung lifted his head so that he was no longer laying on Zen. Zen stood up, “Be right back!” He announced before walking off to the bathroom. Yoosung sat up and wiped his eyes on his sleeves, which were not wet and sticking to his wrists uncomfortably. 

“Let’s do face masks!” Zen said cheerfully as he exited the bathroom, holding two packaged sheet masks in his hands, “They always help me when I’m feeling stressed and they’ll help us look refreshed for the party tomorrow!”

Yoosung giggled, “That actually… sounds like fun.” He started to stand up but Zen stopped him.

“That’s okay, I’ll bring them over there.” Zen walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before bringing the water and sheet masks to the futon where Yoosung was seated, “But first, you should drink as much of this as you can so you don’t feel dehydrated.”

Yoosung smiled and picked the bottle of water up from the table. He tried to open it but struggled with the cap. Zen laughed and took it from him, removing the cap and setting it on the table before handing the bottle back to Yoosung, “Make sure you don’t spill it, it’s very full.”

Yoosung drank half of the bottle of water and set it down on the table. He beamed at Zen, who smiled and opened the package for Yoosung’s sheet mask. He made sure it did not drip on the futon as he handed it to Yoosung. Yoosung took the sheet mask and tried to place it on his face several times before sighing and stomping his foot. Zen, who had already applied his, looked over at Yoosung, who was still having trouble, and laughed before offering to help.

“Here, let me do it for you,” He took the sheet mask from Yoosung and unfolded the parts Yoosung had forgotten. He smoothed it out over Yoosung’s face and his fingers lingered on Yoosung’s cheeks for a moment before he exclaimed, “Wow, you have pretty nice skin. I’ve never really looked at your face this closely before.” Realizing what he said, his normally-pale face turned red under the sheet mask and he pulled his hands from Yoosung’s face before turning away, “Sorry.”

Yoosung did not seem to hear the comment as he reached for the bottle of water and took another sip. “Thank you… for helping me…” He said, smiling, after finishing the water.

“It’s no problem…” Zen said, still avoiding eye contact, “How are you feeling?”  
“A little… less lonely… thanks to you.”

“Heh…” Zen replied, his face still red, “You and I are a lot more similar than you think.”

“What… do you mean?” Yoosung asked with a confused expression on his face.

“Neither of us have anyone to rely on in times of need…” He paused in contemplation before continuing, “Don't tell anyone, but I’m actually glad you offered to come over. It would have felt awful being alone tonight.”

Yoosung stared at Zen, a sad smile on his face, “It makes… me sad to hear you say that… You’re so handsome… you could have… anyone you want… the fact that you’re so lonely… makes me wonder… if I even have a chance… at finding someone.”

“Hey,” Zen started comfortingly, “Don’t say that. You’re cute, you’ll find someone.”

“Cute…” Yoosung said, looking away sadly, “That’s… what everyone says… cute… nobody wants cute.”

“That’s not true,” Zen said as he swayed a bit and put a hand on Yoosung’s head, “Plenty of people like guys that are cute.”

“Like who?” Yoosung said dejectedly.

“Well, for starters…” Zen said, looking away from Yoosung, “I do.”


End file.
